There will come a time in every believer’s life, when we will go through trials and challenges. How we choose to respond in those seasons when our faith is being tested, is key. For some, they have already mastered clenching on to faith and pressing their way through. For others, it may still be a challenge to keep moving forward when life seems like it’s falling apart. It’s typically in these seasons when we truly have to place our complete faith in God and His promises. 

If we’re being honest, it’s in these seasons where the true measure of our faith and trust in Jesus is exposed.  

I remember a time in my walk with the Lord when my faith in God was being tested. It was during my season of infertility. For nearly three years my husband and I did everything we could think of to conceive a baby. We fasted, we prayed, declared the Word, lost weight, we even sought out treatments and had every elder in our church interceding for us. Despite all of our efforts, every month for the next three years I had to stare at a negative pregnancy test. 

After three years I finally gave up. I became so frustrated with God and could not understand why He would not answer my prayer, since I had no open doors to sin in my life.  I felt so weary in my faith and had nothing left inside of me to continue to pursue a chance to conceive. Thoughts and feelings of defeat began to flood my mind and heart. I began to question God. “Why is this happening?”.  “What am I doing wrong?”.  “Why are you so quiet?!”. And I can’t forget this one, “Why are you dangling your promise in front of me?!”. 

One day, my pastor called me and asked where have I been, since I stopped showing up for service. I remember telling her I couldn’t continue coming to church because how I felt towards God at the moment was not pretty. She encouraged me to continue to believe that God could still do the impossible, but I had already made up in my mind that He couldn’t because of what the last three years looked like.  

A month later, my husband and I took a vacation to clear our minds. We visited a church that my cousin pastored in Orlando, FL. During the worship service, the worship leader stopped the song. She began to prophecy that there was someone in the service who has been asking God to do something for them and the Lord said He already did it. When I heard the words coming out of her mouth, I began to feel an electric tingling all over my body. In my head I prayed to the Lord and told Him I could not handle taking another pregnancy test and it be negative.  For the next three weeks, the Lord kept sending me dreams of babies and pregnancy, but since this wasn’t the first time I had experienced dreams of pregnancy, I kept brushing it off.  Finally, when I thought I was getting symptoms of a UTI (urinary tract infection), I decided to go to the emergency room before things got worse. 

While my husband and I were waiting for the doctor to come back with my test results, my doctor came back in and asked me when my last period cycle was. I told her the dates and she stepped back out into the hallway. A few minutes later, she came back into the exam room and told us that she did not see any bacteria in my urine or any signs of infection, but she wanted to inform us that the lab showed I was pregnant. Could you believe my husband and I were still in denial! We told the doctor that it must be a mistake since we had been trying to conceive for the past three years with no success and to please retake the test. Sure enough, the second test came back positive, and we got to take them both home with us!!! We had a healthy pregnancy and today our daughter is four years old.

The Lord always keeps His promises, and I’d have to admit, I felt so guilty for not believing that God could do the impossible and I allowed it to keep me from experiencing the fullness of joy in my pregnancy. I spent the entire time feeling like I had to make up for my lack of faith, when all the Lord wanted to do was love on me and encourage me. 

When your trials are dark and seem like there is no ending to it, don’t abandon your faith. Take these moments to remember every promise the Lord has already fulfilled in your life. You are living proof that God keeps His promises. You got to know that the same God who was walking with you in your winning season, is still the same God carrying you when you “feel” like you’re losing. 

I thank God for that season because from it, I learned how to train my thoughts and feelings to surrender to the obedience of Christ, Jesus. Looking back now, the moment feelings and thoughts of defeat began to flood my mind is when I should have rebuked those thoughts and stood firm in who God is and not what my circumstances looked like.

I want to encourage and remind you that the battle you are facing today is already won. It’s a fixed fight! TRUST HIM – don’t abandoned your position, you’re a soldier in the army of God. Trust God in the weird moments and cling to His word, like you are clinging on to the hem of His garments and remember this:

“God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through?”

‭‭Numbers‬ ‭23‬:‭19‬ ‭NLT‬‬

God bless you Daughter of Zion!

With love,

Amanda Toro